i'm blogging at 2 in the morning again. but i will not be writing about my past; just someone who needs to be in it (past). wow i feel nothing. empty. lifeless. weak. numb. slightly rejected. neglected. sore. just tired and sore of the same damned bruises. i wonder if i would ever learn from my mistakes. if i am capable of adapting to a new situation at all, and maintaining it.
what went wrong between us?
i think there's something wrong with me
that fine lady did mention to 'take it easy, take it slow, don't rush'
i didn't take heed.
i rushed. shouldn't have listened to Elvis's songs, damn it.
naive, vulnerable and plain stupid,
i didn't take the chance to get to know you better
i skipped a step. maybe lots of steps.
i rushed. shouldn't have given you my number that night.
at first i thought God had sent me one of his best angels around,
eventually that thought lead me to believe he isn't flawed.
what i tell ya? this fella here is just nuts in love.
plain, right, stupid.
shouldn't have given you my heart at our first 'hello'.
'love, if you aren't careful, can make you do unspeakable things.
unimaginable. unpredictable. unpleasant.
it'll make you feel like you're on top of the world,
floating in the air, lying on a bed of clouds,
as you think to yourself,
"nothing can go wrong.."
but you forget, stupid.
love is also capable of hurting you.
bring you down to your knees.
and not to mention,
never-ending nights of salty tears.
bed of clouds? bullshit.'