Thursday, July 21, 2011

i think i'm coming down with something.

I've gotta check with the psychiatric dude that's 'treating' me, - well not check with him, but to inform him, to let him know what i'm really thinking about. if i really think i'm a little behind than everyone, well then, that's the kind of thing he should know. And I must notify him. Even though he's still a junior, at what he's doing, I feel like i just have to put my faith in him, medically. and emotionally.
i'm thinking i might be a slow person. and that i'm a little behind than others.

Well, what makes you think so?
for one thing, i feel like i'm less observant than other people. i rarely pay attention when someone's talking to me, for example when he's talking i might drift off and focus at something else other than the conversation we're currently having, without him knowing that im not paying attention at all to what he's talking about. i might steal a glance at my surroundings, like.. a bird that happens to fly pass, people walking around me, busy with their lives, or maybe the buttons on his shirt, or how i fancy just looking at him in his fancy shirt, or how i just love how narrow his mouth opens and closes when he talks. well that's just.. half of it.
Another thing. I'm slow when it comes to taking action. I'm slow to react on things. it'll take me like, a while to figure it out, or maybe even a few days, or sometimes i have to realize that i'd made the same mistake over and over again, by falling into the same deep hole. by realizing i had made the same wrong turn.

So how are you going to overcome this situation?

I don't know.. by categorizing this blockage as another situation seems like it's going to take just a moment to overcome it, no. i feel like, this is who i am. i've been living my whole life this way, now. i feel like, if i'm gonna continue to live this way, i'd surely perish, i would not make it anywhere except from A to B and back to A again. I'm thinking, i've really gotta wash this damn thing out flush it out, completely. I realize this takes time, because it requires my energy inside and outside. i have no idea where to start, yet, but i guess i'll just figure it out as i go along...

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