Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How to know you're not a writer.

HOMG to all that is holy I do not know why I get stuck whenever I try to write in the day! Masha Allah, is it just me? What, how, whyyy? HOKAY.
I'm not a very good blogger, and NO I am not a writer. I like the idea of being one, not because it sounds liberating but, I just do. Period.
BUT I Ain't one, nor will I ever come close to ever actually become one.
What? How to know you're not?
I've come up with a few, so there.

You start your day with yesterday's gloomy face.
How uninteresting and dull your life is. Go to school, learn some stuff, check on facebook, go back home, check on facebook. The process goes on and on and, hey, whaddya know, your career as a couch potato is very promising, you will end up being the most successful at : Doing Nothing!

Can't construct a decent sentence without googling it first.
I've found a neat trick and thi-
I've found a neat trick and it involves a duck tape and your mouth.

You say, "I'm a writer", but you sit on the couch all day and watch Family Guy.
You've never written a story before. Hokay, not just that, you have never written a literary piece that revolves around your imagination. That's about 2000 words a day. Oh, exit's right over there, Mr. Lazy.

Last time you checked, you're still sane.
Writers have the tendency to confuse fiction with non-fiction. Why? HOW? Are you kidding? -Hey, Look a unicorn.- What? oh. Because they write groundbreaking stories everyday, they indulge with the company of their imaginary friends all the time. These 'friends' are actually leprechauns from the stories they construct.

Alritey, most people would agree with me when I say, A writer is someone who writes, or it's the act of writing, or maybe even Ken Follett. The thing is, a real writer is someone who consistently writes about anything at all, from general things to how to dissect a frog the correct way. They would savor their shitty piece of a first draft, and construct it into a diamond. That's a real writer. Some people are born with it, others have to break their backs to earn it. I hope you've got a back-up plan.

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